My last weekend “home” for a while will see me at my favorite local venue, the Black Cat Cafe and Bakery in Sharon Springs NY.  Memorial Day Weekend is Sharon Springs’ official Garden Party Weekend, and it’s always a delight to do one of my  very rare “mini reading” events upstairs at the Cafe.  Proprietor and Top Cat Tony Daou will provide his usual delectable casual fare, and I will be doing ten-minute readings.  Join us!  For more info on the Black Cat, visit their website.

After that, it’s heavy time on the road through June.  I want to particularly remind people that I will be joining Bill Trivett and Bob Hall at New Visions Books and Gifts for what is turning out to be an annual event!  June 1-3 I will be in York to give two workshops:  CREATING YOUR SENTENCE OF PASSION and BRAINSTORM YOUR NEW AGE BUSINESS, with private readings scheduled on Sunday.  Space for both workshops and readings is LIMITED, so if you’re interested, call New Visions at 800-843-8067 and reserve your space.

And a reminder to listen to EMPOWER READINGS Thursday nights at 8pm Eastern.  We’re playing with the format a bit, so you will have two weeks each month when it’s “just us” — OPEN MIC NIGHT the first Thursday will mean I get to ramble on my thoughts and do readings for all of you on any subject you want, plus answer any metaphysical queries (“what are the best crystals for healing?  Why aren’t Ouija boards safe?”).  The third  Thursday will be THE PAST LIFE PARTY, where we concentrate on past life readings for callers.  Tune in here on Thursdays!

Short and sweet this month — see you in June!

2012:  One Small Step For the Mayan Calendar …

A Quantum Leap Year For Humankind

By Swami Beyondananda

I just got back from hyperspace, so forgive me if I’m a bit hyper-spacey!

I am clear about one thing, though, and that’s the state of the Universe.  The Universe – God bless it – is in tip-top shape, especially considering its age.  We should all look this good when we’re 13 billion going on 14 billion.

Once again, the Universe remains ever-changing, same as always, purring in perfection.  You’d think that at that age, the Universe would be slowing down, but no – it’s still expanding.  I predict it won’t be long before they have to let the photon belt out another notch.

Meanwhile, back here on earth, the human comedy has been renewed for yet another season.  Maybe 2012 will be the year a critical mass of the heretofore-uncritical masses wake up and hear the laugh track.

That’s right, the laugh track.  In these serious times when there’s definitely something funny going on, laughter is key.  You laugh, and I say, “Fabulous.  You’re off to a good start. ”

Last year’s laugh track should have you on track for even more laughs this year, because 2011 was a funny year – although maybe not ha-ha funny.

For one thing, the Rapture didn’t happen last May as predicted, thank God.  Sure, those who hoped to live happily ever rapture were a little disappointed, but hey – it’s not the end of the world, right?

Then another funny thing happened.  We found the bank bailout cost us $7.7 trillion, but as an optimystic, I have found an upside to the downside.  Good thing the dollar isn’t worth much these days, otherwise that would have REALLY been a disaster.

In other economic news in 2011, for the fourth straight year the Moody’s Investor Report indicated that investors are moody and getting moodier.  Fortunately, we’ve been gearing up for an election year, a great opportunity for folks to vent their frustration.  Maybe after enough out-venting, we’ll have the clarity to invent for a change, but meanwhile …

In the wake of the first slew of Republican debates filled with detestimonials and insinuendoes, one blogger compared the spectacle to professional wrestling.  Boy, you should have seen all the angry letters he got.  Guess he didn’t realize how many pro wrestling fans are out there.  Then there was the Republican debate in South Carolina, where the audience actually booed the Golden Rule.  If anyone doubts the Republicans’ Southern strategy has paid off, here is irrefutable proof that the party of Lincoln has gone south.

And to those who say there’s no difference between the two parties, I must differ.  The Republicans bend over backwards to service the banksters and special interests.  The Democrats are exactly the opposite.  They bend over forward.

Yes, America has been divided into two rival tribes, the red tribe Republicans and the blue tribe Democrats, who spend way too much energy arguing about whether it’s worse to kill the born, or the unborn – instead of working together to improve the world the yet-to-be-born are born into.

I know, I know.  I am proposing a sane world.  I must be crazy, right?

Which is why we the people must build our own sane asylum, and commit ourselves to living there.  How?

I knew I was going to ask that question.

We must gather red tribe and blue tribe together in sacred circles, to talk until they are purple in the face – so we the people can gather around the heart-core values we have in common. If we stand together as One Purple People, we the peeps will overcome the perps, and the sociopathogens plaguing the body politic will be rendered harmless.

And peeps, the perps have another purpose.  They remind us that all peeps have a little perp inside them, and when peeps get a peep at their own true purpose, there is no need to perp.

So, how do we turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction?  Read on.

Occupy the Heart and Create Heartland Security

A bright spot appeared on the horizon in 2011, thanks to the Occupy Wall Street movement, which reminded us that Wall Street has been occupying Main Street for generations.  While middle-class Americans were preoccupied with family values, gold collar criminals with Soprano Family values like Bernie Madoff made off with large chunks of the commonwealth.  No wonder there’s disheartenment in the heartland! The Occupy movement broke this issue through the soundless barrier, and Americans from across the political spectrum have been waking up left and right.  In 2011, leaders from both awakening wings – Sen. Bernie Sanders on the left, Rep. Ron Paul on the right – called for auditing the Fed.  Others in the Occupy movement have gone even further, suggested auditing the overfed, but that”s another story.

One thing is for sure.  As the upwising picks up esteem in 2012, there will be plenty of residoodoo to metabolize.  Which is why, as things come to a head it becomes more important than ever that they come to a heart as well.

Because when it comes to healing our lives – or the world – the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.  The heartless minds that value money over all else have tried to convince us that their inhuman nature is our human nature.  I say if we want the Golden Rule to overrule the rule of gold, we have to embody the heart core values of truth, beauty and goodness.

Instead of buying into the fear-based Homeland Security, we must invest in Heartland Security – because our true security is in the land of the heart.  In the head, we have beliefs that separate us, and what people believe – believe me – is unbelievable.  That’s why we must leave the static of the head for the ecstatic of the heart.  The more we expand our hearts, the less we will need to shrink our heads.

It’s great that the Occupy movement has begun to re-hearten a disheartened heartland.  But before we become preoccupied with the usual head-trips, we must occupy our own hearts.  And the best way to do this – seriously – is with heart-opening laughter.

Swami’s Four-Fold Path to Cosmic Comic Consciousness 

As we begin this quantum leap year, I know many of you reading this would love to uplift humanity.  That would be a quantum leap indeed, so let me recommend the first small step to uplifting humankind.  Ready?  Begin by uplifting your own face.  Allow the levitational pull to uplift the corners of your mouth in a smile, and you will trick yourself into believing you are happy.  This is called Cosmic Comic Consciousness, and yes – it is contagious.

Instead of buying into the notion that happiness is something we need to pursue out there, let’s laugh at the cosmic joke:  Happiness has been right here all along, patiently waiting for us.  Ha-ha-ha.

Now of course, simply being happy is far too simple, isn’t it?  So for those who still feel the need to “do” something to be happy, I have devised a simple four-step program – that should, simply by simple arithmetic – work three times faster than those 12-step programs.  Ready?  Here it is:

Step One.  Wake Up Laughing.  As we wise up to the gravity, we must rise up with the levity.  Not only does levity help us rise above whatever has been bringing us down, it shows us a higher perspective.  When we wake up laughing, there is an awakening.  In the wake of the ha-ha, there’s an “aha.”  And after the aha, there’s an “aaaahhhhhh …” and just like that, hearty laughter lifts us out of our head, and puts us squarely in the heart.

Step Two.  Wise Up Loving.  As the Wisest Guys have been telling us for millennia, we are all one with the same One, and the purpose of life is thrival for all.  Love is the currency in the new eco-logical economy because the more we spend, the more we have!  And having it is simple.  All we have to do is open our blinds, and let it in.

Here is the inescapable truth:  Love has us surrounded.  We might as well surrender.

That’s right – give up the fight, and surrender to Love.  Listen, if Love is good enough for Jesus, Buddha and Beatles, it’s good enough for me!

Step Three.  Grow Up Giving.  If we want to overgrow the current dysfunction at the junction, WE – each of us, and all of us – must grow upward, evolving from children of God to adults of Good.  Now while few of us have actually seen God, we have all seen Good.  Goodness gracious, goodness is good!  For millennia, children of God have been waiting for a messiah to fix this fixer-upper of a world.  And now adults of Good have realized the messiah is a do-it-yourself job, and the party of life is strictly BYOB … Be Your Own Buddha.

Step Four.  Show Up Living.   As the gospel of FUNdamentalism (accent on FUN) teaches, we are not here to earn God’s love – we’re here to spend it!  And how you spend it depends on what you love to do.  Make a “bucket list” of all the undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the undertaker.  Then start doing them.  They say an unexamined life is not worth living, but it’s even truer that an unlived life is not worth examining.  So … turn off your TV and tell a vision instead.  The evolution will not be televised.  It’s happening out here, and it’s even more real than reality TV … it’s called REALITY!

Finally, as I bring this address to a close, I call on you to improve the state of your corner of the Universe and take a vow of levity.  I am serious.  We humans will never find our center of gravity until we find our center of levity.  So, all those who wish to take a vow of levity – PLEASE RISE.

Repeat after me.  “All for fun … and fun for all!”

And may we laugh, laugh, laugh till the sacred cows come home.

©  Copyright 2012 by Steve Bhaerman.  All rights reserved.

Swami Beyondananda is the cosmic comic alter ego of writer Steve Bhaerman, and can be found online athttp://www.wakeuplaughing.com/.  Interested in booking Swami for a personal appearance?  Contact his office at (707) 888-7260.

SWAMI’S STATE OF THE UNIVERSE 2012

As is our April tradition, the  InfoLightenment column is taken over by one of God’s wisest fools, Swami Beyondananda, with his State of the Universe address for 2012.  If you haven’t discovered the Swami yet…what are you waiting for?

TRAVEL AND BOOK NEWS!

Spring means a change in my travel directions.  While winter usually sees me in New York State and Canada, the turning of the season shifts me to Pennsylvania — and this year, Ohio!  Because I will be doing two back-to-back shows in the Pittsburgh area, I decided that it was the perfect time to visit Ohio, where many of you know Robert Schwartz, the author of YOUR SOUL’S PLAN and the new volume, YOUR SOUL’S GIFT.  As a channel and participant in both books, I’ve often been asked by Ohio folk when I’m coming out to visit, so I’ve arranged two events — one with Michelle Star Yoga in Middleberg Heights and the other with Merging Hearts in Canton.  I will be doing lectures, workshops and personal readings at both places, but space will be limited.  Contact them ASAP if you want to participate with us!  You can find their information in our calendar column.

And we’re excited to announce that YOUR SOUL’S GIFT (with over 500 pages of new stories and new channelings!) is finally out!  Look for it in shops, on Amazon — and at shows with me!

APRIL SPECIAL

I’m home for most of April, which means it’s time to do phone sessions for you — and we’re offering an April “shower of savings”:

Book a phone appointment for a GENERAL READING, mention ‘April Special’ — and you’ll get an extra 15 minutes (a $45 savings).  Book 30 minutes and get 45 – or book 60 minutes and get 75!

OR

Book a double GENERAL READING session (you and a friend get your readings back-to-back) and each of you will receive a personal numerology report FREE (a $25 value). 

And as always, your CD is mailed to you FREE.

THIS SPECIAL VALID ONLY DURING THE MONTH OF APRIL — BOOK TODAY!

Go to my services page to find out dates and times I’m available.

I can see so many reasons why those four lives were chosen for me to be unveiled.  When we hung up I bawled my eyes out.  One, because I understood that “I AM GOOD.”  It’s such a simple thing, but I’m not sure I’ve ever believed it.  Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, I felt more like “I am cursed.”  But now I see.  And it’s magnificent.

Two, I asked for confirmation and I got confirmation.  These four [lives I led before] weren’t able to go as far as they wanted to go in their plights, but I think I can.  And I want to do that – for me and for them and for others.  There are several other dots I connected which provided me with much comfort and confidence – things that allowed me to accept myself and the decisions I made.  Just awesome.

I am so grateful for the energy that you poured into my reading, and I’m grateful for the way that you shared of yourself as well.  Your gift, your perspective, your openness, your delivery… such blessings.  Thank you.

Vanessa
Winchester, MA

Gina
Kenmore, NY 

Even in the hurly-burly of a psychic fair, Corbie makes her sessions with clients personal, intimate and as comfortable as possible. Despite her elegant clothes and table trappings, sitting with Corbie feels like sitting with a long-time friend.

She adapts to the receptivity of her clients and provides witty analogies to illustrate her findings. She also doesn’t believe in “bad news.” Instead she views life as having opportunities to go after and challenges to get past; her job is to give you the tools and courage to deal with both situations. Everything else, she asserts, is free will and up to you.

Corbie’s psychic readings are conducted in a way that provides a plethora of information. A Certified Professional Tarot Reader, she will often use multi-level “drill down” card spreads to enable informed decisions. An example of this is when a client wants to start a new business. Rather than merely highlighting one or two messages (“open in June and fire the second redhead”) Corbie’s investigation encompasses everything from the energy around the client and the business itself to marketing, probable client base, competition, finances, staff and more. This allows the client to look at all aspects of the desired business to make their dreams a reality.

Being a trained medium and channel, Corbie communicates with spirit guides in all forms (elementals, avatars, angelic contact, animal totems, deceased loved ones) and communicates with those on the Other Side. She is an absolutist when it comes to insisting on specific verification, and therefore asks for four “cosmic dog tags:” the full name of the person desired, who they were to the client (son, friend, co-worker, etc.); the year they died and how old they were. While this gives nothing away, it does allow her to quickly gather in the energies required. Corbie then connects with the spirit and asks it for key references for validation: how the person died, recognizable clothing, habits, emotional aspects or mutual histories have all come to the fore. Once the client acknowledges the validity of the spirit contacted, she allows them to talk to their loved ones directly; often Corbie’s demeanor, vocal traits and accent will switch to that of the deceased loved one to act as a further indicator for the client.

Her specialty is past life retrieval; again, details are vital for her. Once given a point of reference (in this life a phobia, an obsession, etc.) she immediately accesses the appropriate section of the Akashic and brings down lives in detail and nuance. Often full scenes are played out as she describes conversations, actions and consequences that reverberate in the client’s current existence.

She willingly shares additional resources for the client to take their learning further – whether it is a book list, a postcard with useful URLs, or the business card of another Lightworker who specializes in something she does not, Corbie understands that she is not “the only answer” and is only too happy to assist her client in finding reputable assistance along the Path. She does, however, have certain “uncrossable lines“ regarding her professionalism. She will not “remote spy” (gather information about a person not connected with the client on a positive basis); she will never predict a death; and she is very clear about not being able to connect in a reading situation. In the latter situation, rather than “fish” she politely informs the client she is unable to read them and returns their payment.

Denise
Rochester, NY 

Doin’ the work! Thanks for guidance and good thoughts, Corbie.

Janaene
Pittsford, NY 

I’m going to be participating in two shows in the Pittsburgh area — the Whole Being Expo in Bolivar PA on 28-29 April, and then The Journey Expo in Ross Township PA on 5-6 May.  To go all the way back to the Albany NY area means TWO thousand-mile roundtrips two weekends in a row.  And that is a little much…so I thought, why not visit Ohio?  Ohio is the home of Robert Schwartz, author of YOUR SOUL’S PLAN (and the soon-out YOUR SOUL’S GIFT) and I have participated in both volumes; therefore, it made sense to me to visit those who know and love the book.

Look for me at Michelle Star Yoga and Healing Arts on April 30 and May 1, and then the Merging Hearts Holistic Center May 2 and 3.  In each place I will be doing either a lecture or workshop AND will be available for private readings!  So if you’re in or near northeast Ohio and have always wanted to meet me or have a reading with me, this is your chance.  I’ve linked the two centers directly for you; keep in touch with them to find out the details as we finalize them.

Short and sweet this month — it’s my birthday, and I’m off to celebrate.  Stay warm!

Linda
St. Catharines, ON